Pudgy Girl Swim Suit
I broke down and ordered a new swim suit. Yes, I did it. Now this means, since I ordered a new pudgy girl swimsuit, and paid to have it shipped to me, I have to wear it somewhere other than my bedroom.
The all black, simple, swimsuit arrived last week. I pulled it out of the shipping bag it was in and took a deep breath. Was I really going to do this? Was I really going to squeeze into this suit, hold my breath for however long I was wearing it, and try to swim in it? Yeah, why not? What have I got to lose?
So Saturday morning, I found my self tugging at the swim suit, pulling it up, sucking in, squeezing in, holding my breath, making sure all the areas that needed to be covered were. Of course, I should have worn full clothing if I wanted everything covered, but for the most part, what was a necessity to cover, was covered. I avoided the mirror, so I am not 100% sure what I looked like in it, but I imagined a cabbage patch kid in a swim suit, or humpty dumpty, take your pick.
I grab two towels, better safe than sorry, nothing worse than grabbing a towel, having it be too small, and trying to wrap the thing around your body, and instead looking like some kind of horrible flasher. I hopped into the soccer mom mini-van and headed for the local pool. I pretended I had been there 1000 times before to lap swim, I walked in like I was confidant, and ready to go! This was merely a cover for my true horror, which I am sure was flashing like a strobe light when I left.
I was extremely quick at getting my short and t-shirt off, and with lightening speed, I hurried to the pool and down the latter, into the saving grace of the rippling water. As I am bouncing in the water, I think to myself, hey, you did it! The hard part is over. Boy, was I wrong.
I began to swim, kicking away, realizing I was barely moving. Back in the day, I was a great swimmer, on swim team every summer for as long as I could remember. I was good too! I am sure I have a million ribbons somewhere to prove it! Of course, I was younger, healthier, thinner, and much more used to swimming laps than I am today!
The pool area had about 20 parents, all of whom were there with their young kids for swim lessons. Thankfully, there were only two other lap swimmers there, both of whom were not as experienced as I was, and moved slower than me, not sure how that is possible, but it is. As I am swimming my laps, I get to the end of the pool, after 2 laps, and I am praying to God for mercy and I am trying not to look like I just got hit by a cement truck. I continued on, be brave, you can do it! Needless to say, I think I managed to torture myself for just about 30 minutes, and I may be exaggerating that.
As my brain in pounding, my ear is plugged, my lungs are burning, and my eyes are blurry, I drag myself from the pool. And when I say drag, I mean drag. It took me two lunges to pull myself from the water. My entire body is shaking, my face is on fire, and I am trying not to attract attention, because I don't want them to call 911 to the pool because the fat girl is in distress.
I don't bother with my clothes, I manage to get the towels around me, I stagger to the door, trying to smile at the life guard, who I think was trying not to laugh at me, but I can't be sure, my brain was totally blurry. I am not sure how I made it home without driving off the road.
I walked in the door, in tears. My arms hurt so bad, I could not lift them, I had given my self a headache from lack of oxygen, my ear was complete full of water and my nose was runny. My spouse, being supportive, says great job, you shouldn't have pushed yourself so hard. I don't recall pushing myself that hard, I gave up like 20 minutes in! But I decided, I'll go again, and again, until it gets easier. It may take a year, but I will do 4 laps, without stopping to pass out!
I've been trying to remember whose idea it was to get a new swim suit. And when I remember, I'm going to smack them.
The all black, simple, swimsuit arrived last week. I pulled it out of the shipping bag it was in and took a deep breath. Was I really going to do this? Was I really going to squeeze into this suit, hold my breath for however long I was wearing it, and try to swim in it? Yeah, why not? What have I got to lose?
So Saturday morning, I found my self tugging at the swim suit, pulling it up, sucking in, squeezing in, holding my breath, making sure all the areas that needed to be covered were. Of course, I should have worn full clothing if I wanted everything covered, but for the most part, what was a necessity to cover, was covered. I avoided the mirror, so I am not 100% sure what I looked like in it, but I imagined a cabbage patch kid in a swim suit, or humpty dumpty, take your pick.
I grab two towels, better safe than sorry, nothing worse than grabbing a towel, having it be too small, and trying to wrap the thing around your body, and instead looking like some kind of horrible flasher. I hopped into the soccer mom mini-van and headed for the local pool. I pretended I had been there 1000 times before to lap swim, I walked in like I was confidant, and ready to go! This was merely a cover for my true horror, which I am sure was flashing like a strobe light when I left.
I was extremely quick at getting my short and t-shirt off, and with lightening speed, I hurried to the pool and down the latter, into the saving grace of the rippling water. As I am bouncing in the water, I think to myself, hey, you did it! The hard part is over. Boy, was I wrong.
I began to swim, kicking away, realizing I was barely moving. Back in the day, I was a great swimmer, on swim team every summer for as long as I could remember. I was good too! I am sure I have a million ribbons somewhere to prove it! Of course, I was younger, healthier, thinner, and much more used to swimming laps than I am today!
The pool area had about 20 parents, all of whom were there with their young kids for swim lessons. Thankfully, there were only two other lap swimmers there, both of whom were not as experienced as I was, and moved slower than me, not sure how that is possible, but it is. As I am swimming my laps, I get to the end of the pool, after 2 laps, and I am praying to God for mercy and I am trying not to look like I just got hit by a cement truck. I continued on, be brave, you can do it! Needless to say, I think I managed to torture myself for just about 30 minutes, and I may be exaggerating that.
As my brain in pounding, my ear is plugged, my lungs are burning, and my eyes are blurry, I drag myself from the pool. And when I say drag, I mean drag. It took me two lunges to pull myself from the water. My entire body is shaking, my face is on fire, and I am trying not to attract attention, because I don't want them to call 911 to the pool because the fat girl is in distress.
I don't bother with my clothes, I manage to get the towels around me, I stagger to the door, trying to smile at the life guard, who I think was trying not to laugh at me, but I can't be sure, my brain was totally blurry. I am not sure how I made it home without driving off the road.
I walked in the door, in tears. My arms hurt so bad, I could not lift them, I had given my self a headache from lack of oxygen, my ear was complete full of water and my nose was runny. My spouse, being supportive, says great job, you shouldn't have pushed yourself so hard. I don't recall pushing myself that hard, I gave up like 20 minutes in! But I decided, I'll go again, and again, until it gets easier. It may take a year, but I will do 4 laps, without stopping to pass out!
I've been trying to remember whose idea it was to get a new swim suit. And when I remember, I'm going to smack them.
posted by Leslie | 8:09 AM
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