Rock

The problem with having two kids at school is that at any moment you could get a call from the teacher for various reasons, issues, problems, or ailments. Anything ranging from fever, to pink eye, to bad attitude, and bad language, you name it you could get a call on it. But I have never had a call for what I am about to write about.

The last week has been busy, both kids at some point last week were running a fever and began coughing. So I was not surprised when I got a call Friday at about 11:15am from the school. What I was not expecting was this:
“This is Lori at ACLC and I have Nicholas in the office with me…” Now you hear this and think, ok it’s his fever, or he got bit by the dumb Zach kid again, or he said Damn it (which has been his phrase of choice for a few weeks), or even worse he was being a bully and punched some girl in the eye.

But what I heard instead was:
“…and he has a rock in his nose.” I’m sorry, what? You said my child has a rock in his nose. This is great, I of course am laughing, what else am I going to do? This child loves to be adventurous, so I am not surprised. Now, Joey has never done anything like that before, he may have stuck something in his ear, but never anything that could require an emergency room visit.

He has a rock in his nose, so dig it out, was my response. We have created a society where no one wants to touch your kid due to liability, so their comment to me is: “We need you to come and dig it out…”. As I am walking over to my co-workers office, I am giggling, how do you tell someone you need to leave for a bit to go and dig a rock out of your child’s nose? Just like that….I need to run to the school to dig a rock out of my son’s nose, then I will reprimand him, and grab some lunch. Assuming of course that I don’t need to go the emergency room, I should be back today.

His father is not all that surprised and said before I take him anywhere, try to press on the top of his nostril and work it out, worst case, he’ll come from work with the his manly-multi-tool from Leatherman and dig it out. The child is a two year old boy, not a multi-tool experiment waiting to happen.....SIGH..Boys….. As I am blazing down the highway to rescue my son’s nose from the boulder lodged inside, I get another call from the school. “He sneezed and it came out.” Laughing, I ask, do I need to come and check him out, is he upset? Nope, he’s fine and eating lunch. Well that’s good, I turn around and head back to work. All the scenarios of emergency room waiting completely left my imagination, and all I could think was, did they keep the rock for me?

The end of the day finally came, and I am at the school picking up my boys. Nicholas sees me and instantly denies that he stuck a rock up his nose. The poor little teacher was watching him like a hawk, and was completely relieved that I had sense of humor about the adventure my child had with is nose. And no, they didn’t keep the rock for me.

I wonder what my next call will be. Hopefully it won’t be about his habit of pulling his pants down outside, or even worse kissing girls…eww.