Sensodyne Toothpaste

I’m not old, at least I don’t think I am, but I have noticed some items in my home and daily activities that have started to tip me off that I am changing from High School Grad, to Aging-Mom

I can remember visiting my grandma at her house in Montrose, Colorado, and I remember opening the medicine cabinet in the bathroom and seeing the Sensodyne toothpaste. For whatever reason, I knew it was old people toothpaste. Lately, I have two areas on my teeth that have been real sensitive, so I switched to using Sensodyne toothpaste. Old people toothpaste, yuck, it even smells like it has old-people-dust in it. Gross. Other items found in that cabinet have made their way into my house as well, like Preparation H, Stool Softeners, 4 kinds of tweezers, nose hair trimmer, and I even bought Dial Soap a time or two. I can’t believe it, I’m closer to middle-aged than College co-ed. So sad. I have even started to notice the white hairs popping up in everything that shows my reflection. Uggh.

You could always tell when my grandparents from Virginia were visiting, they always brought their Fiber One cereal and smelled of moth balls. I found myself at Walmart a few weeks ago, actually considering buying Fiber One cereal. I must be losing my mind, it’s like cardboard in a short noodle shape. I put it back on the shelf and got oatmeal instead. Ironically, I was considering buying moth balls to put in my laundry room, always smells musty and like a liter box, no other air freshener has ever worked, I though moth balls would be strong enough. Now I am half-way to becoming a Virginian…all I need is an accent and drive a Lincoln….which as fate would have it, we had a Lincoln Mark VIII we sold a few year back. Looks like I can’t change fate.

If I am in bed later than 9:30, I am grouchy, and the thought of being up after 7:30 seems like a waste of time. The only people I know who were like that was my mother who cleaned every Saturday morning, and my grandma, she always watched her humming birds out the kitchen window, always up earlier than any human should be. Why sleep in when you go to bed before the sun goes down?

It was never a priority to me that the towels got hung back up on the rack when I was done with them, eventually I would do it, but not until they dried into the shape they had been flung into on the floor. This agitated my mother to no end and I can still see the steam coming out of her ears every time she saw that. It a strange twist of fate, I hear my mothers voice come out of my not-so-old-mouth, every time I see Joey just throw a towel on the floor. I must be getting older, I have become a nagging mother.

When your 5 year old says you are old, lame, and you bore him, it’s a good sign you are aging rapidly. To top it off, if your 5 year old has to help pull you off the floor, chances are you are getting up there in age. When your two sons ask for fruit snacks and pretzels for breakfast, and you insist on a healthy, non-sugary cereal, or some eggs, you have crossed over. If I still had an ounce of fun left in my old bones, I would have considered the pretzels, maybe even melted cheese to go with it. But I have been brain washed with my age and can here the experts say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day…..can’t do fruit snacks shaped like dogs, cats, spiders, and pigs, need to stick to real fruit.

I’ve become appalled by the things of TV and the things I hear on the radio. Music shouldn’t be talking about smackin’ certain body parts on the radio at any given moment with my kids in the car. How do you explain that? What about the Real World MTV TV show? When did I think drunken debauchery and skimpy clothes, and making out with anyone that moves become morally reprehensible? Not sure, but somewhere along the way, pants that display your thong is not appropriate anymore. I lost my ability to be out of control, I think.

Maybe it’s normal for us all to buy Sensodyne tooth paste, eat Fiber One, and get up early with the birds. Maybe it’s normal to start to protect what you have, and make sure goodness is all around the ones we love. Maybe I am getting old and I should just suck it up and look into getting a AARP card and inquire about senior citizen discounts at my local stores. Next thing you know, I’ll be deciding which arthritis cream is best, and yelling at my grandkids to stop jumping on my couch cause it’s older than they are.

Life is a journey, and I can’t make the clocks stop or go in reverse, but I can always keep a positive spirit, besides, it’s only Sensodyne toothpaste and it works! It’s just toothpaste, not a sign from the devil that my life is on the downhill slope!