Seek His Will

Proverbs 3: 5-6

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 6 Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.

I was reading Biblegateway.com today at work. I should be working, but I needed some inspiration and I typed in Proverbs and read the verses above.

It's not easy to walk away from yourself and let someone else take control. Let God take control. Can He do it? Does He have time for me? How will He tell me what my path is? I'm not that important to Him right now, my needs will go unnoticed. Seek His will in all you do. Should be easy, but your human instinct to control does exactly that and takes over. I want to allow His will to take me where it leads, but sometimes I think it needs a push. I doubt my faith sometimes, and its not out of non-belief, it's out of fear that God may put me on a path that I don't think is right for me. It's out of fear of letting go of control completely. God knows my heart, so why do I hesitate? Why do I doubt?

In reality, His will doesn't need a push. Somewhere it says He knew me before I was born, He knows each hair on my head. Most importantly He loves me, unconditionally, and he forgets my faults from yesterday and pushes me forward through today and tomorrow.

Guide me to the path I should be on, grant me patience, grant me self-control, show me Your love, give me wisdom, because today I am lost, the path is not in the light, the patience has fallen away to frustration and the self-control has been over-powered by anger, and my wisdom has been blinded by ignorance.

I don't understand, and I don't think I will ever understand it all, that's not my job, that is God's job. All I can do is hope and pray that He will show me the right path for me. Until He does, I have to keep believing, I have to keep going, I have to pray for His will to be done, for Him to grant me with wisdom, self-control, and patience. I have to believe and stay strong. I know, when I think I can't make it, that I feel as if I need to give up, God will see this, and He will carry me, He will show me how to make it through each day.

A Master Piece in Progress

I have these days every now and again, those kind of days where you’re not unhappy, your not overly happy, your just kind of here. These days present a lot of internal dialogue with myself. Books, emails, certain sayings, words of inspiration, and random conversations tend to have a large impact on me during these times.

Today I’m not in the mood for negativity and in my office, there is a person or two that this is all they emanate. I find this negativity and down right cruelty to be like a bad seed or a festering wound. It can take over someone.

I have tuned my mind into Dave Mathews Band today. Wonderful. Beautiful musicianship, wonderful lyrics, peace, harmony, and comfort. Love it.

I am watching myself change. When I close my eyes I see a new me. Strange how time and age and experience can awaken you, change you, move you into a new point of view. I see others around me and wonder what would make you so bitter that you can’t see what you’ve become. Keep your eyes forward, keep your mind open, keep your site on God, not on the past, you can’t change the past.

Strange, when you don’t think you can change anymore, when you think you have hit the person you really are, a new bloom of yourself opens. A new stem on the plant, a new leaf on the tree, it’s breath taking really. I’m not a seed anymore, I’m a tree, strongly rooted, with so many details to explore and each day, each moment, provides a new opportunity for something to grow. I see others around me, their behavior and it’s such a learning lesson for me, I know exactly how I don’t want to be. I pick up the precious moments and tid bits from those around me whom I admire. I grow from this, and I guess I grow even from those who are consumed by something dark.

What about in the eyes of the Maker. How do I look to Him? Hopefully as a work in progress. A piece of art that is not yet finished, but well on its way to being a master piece.

Of course, I’m just winging it here, I could be tired, and not quite awake, maybe I need to grab more coffee!