Thinking about Kids

Typically Halloween in Colorado is always, cold, snowy, rainy, and sleety. This year it's expected to be extremely cold, but dry. That is impressive! I only remember a few Halloweens growing up where I didn't come home wet. Trick or treating in Colorado is an experience too....you have to find a costume your heavy winter coat will fit under. SO being a belly dancer or genie are usually out the question, any skin showing, usually freezes right off.
It's hard to work today, I am tired, and my muscles are sore from raking the yard, which was almost a wasted effort, it needs to be done again. I am fighting a small headache, and I have tons of work today. Really I want to be home, curled up in bed in front of the TV. Tonight is trick or treating at the church, and we'll probably hit the fire house across the street too. So there's not much time for a pity party.
I found out yesterday that Friday is a teach in-service day at the boys school, so I won't be going to work, which is fine, my dad flies in on Friday! BUT that still leaves work to do. The laundry is slowing getting done, the house is not a disaster area, but definitely needs TLC. I know he'll notice the top of my fridge, he is the only family member tall enough to see up there, so that is a priority in my kitchen.
John was at work so late last night that Joey thought for sure he wasn't coming home! He asked me why dad was not home, and then said, "I think he misses me." It is not normal for John to work late, so when he's not home, Joey notices instantly, and then that's all he asks about. Can we call him, when will he be home, how long will it be, is he coming home, why is he working late, will he have dinner with me, can I call him again? Joey is fortunate, dad is always there, no matter what. He is a constant in Joey and Nick's life.
And that makes me feel kind of bad for the kids out there with one parent, or with dads' and moms' who work all the time and never see them. Seems to me we all have our priorities out of whack. Now, I'm not going to say that I should be a stay at home mom, let's be realistic, but being with family should prioritize over many of the things we do. We see so many kids who are neglected and starved for attention, and the teachers a school call home and say, we think your kid has ADD. Do they really? Seems to me maybe we've created situations where the only way our kids get attention is by acting out.
Everyday on our way to school and work, I see a mom who walks her pre-teen daughter to school. There are usually a bunch of kids on the same sidewalk, going to the same location, but locked arm and arm each day is this mother and her daughter. Out of all the kids I see walking to school in the morning, she's the only mom I have seen with her child.
Maybe a walk to school isn't that important, but can you imagine what kind words, or inspirational stories, or even just listening to your child may do for their self-esteem, in that brief amount of time?
I am by far, not a perfect parent, and usually I am more frustrated, irritated, and impatient, than I am educational, inspirational, and loving. I want so much for my kids, but I notice, I put a lot of rocks on their path to success, than I do clearing them.
Food for thought.

Miracle Moment

Have you ever had moments in your life, a few brief seconds, where you realize something? Where you suddenly feel renewed, refreshed, and ready to take it all on?
That was me this morning. The boys and I were headed off to school in the soccer mom mini-van, and as Joey and I are singing to the songs on the radio, I paused. Something came over me, warm, and pleasant. I suddenly realized, which I have many times before and chose to ignore, that I am capable at whatever I put my mind to. I put my faith in God, He will lead me where I need to be.
I am known to be on the fence with my faith, but this morning, there was no fence. It was all on the right side. Joey singing, Nick chatting away, the windows frosted from the cold, the radio humming away, the heat blowing, the lights up the road changing from red to green. It all culminated in a moment, when Joey raised his hand up, and sang out, "Throw your hands up high." And in the rear view mirror, I saw his face. I saw God in him and I knew where I needed to be. Joey and I continued singing, and as we pulled into the school parking lot, he was praying, and for the first time, him and I prayed in the car, out loud, singing away, You have blessed us God, thank you! Amen.
I want to feel that way everyday. It was like the feeling you get a Christmas, all warm and fuzzy. The feeling of your babies snuggling up to you. The feeling of peace washing over you. The feeling of unconditional love. It was amazing. And it was instantaneous. It wasn't something I had to force or think about or wonder when it would happen. It just happened. It was like an out of body experience, and I realized, I make my life so complicated. I hold myself back. I don't do things I know I can do. I make excuses for the dumb things I do. Why? What in my mind do I say to myself to keep myself from seeing the truth?
I know everyday is not going to be a miraculous moment in time. I know the struggle that life is and can be. My goal is to remember that moment this morning. No matter what has come at me, or where I am going. I want to put aside the strife's, stress, and disappointments in life. Put aside the feelings of hopelessness, loss, anger, fear, regret, and sorrow. Put it aside and take up the path that led me to the joy Joey and I felt this morning.
I dropped the boys off, Joey hugged me goodbye. I told him to have a good day. All I wanted to do was wrap myself around him and never let him go. Never mind he talks back, and forgets to put his clothes in the laundry, never mind his hair is a mess, and we didn't make his bed, never mind his bossiness and strong will. None of it mattered, just that moment in time where I saw God in my son and I realized how truly blessed I am.
Miracles happen everyday, today was my day!

Pink Grandma

My dad is coming out from Florida the first weekend in November, and it has been almost a year since he was last out. As a matter of fact, a year on November 19th, he flew in on my due date with Nicholas. My dad is a florist. He loves to network, and keep busy, him and my step-mom are running 3 shops in the Fort Meyers, Florida area. So if anyone is interested in being a florist, let me know, I can hook you up with a guy I know who owns a shop right on the beach!
I am totally and completely a daddy's girl. There is no one quite as special to me as my dad. I miss him so much it hurts, but I swallow that down each day, and go about my life and try to forget that he is across the country from me. Thanks to cell phones, and email, we stay close, but it's still not the same as being able to get in the car and be 10 minutes away.
Joey is tickled that Grandpa Greg is flying out to see him. On a plane! In a short time, not a long time. He has to sleep like 10 ten times before Grandpa Greg get's here. And Friday is the day after Thursday, and that's when he'll be here, after the next week. He's got it down and I am sure he'll ask me each day if he can go get him at the airport and see the planes.
I don't know how as a grandparent I could be that far away from my grandkids and my own babies. I don't think that is a choice I could ever make. Joey and Nick, don't get to see my parents very often, my mom is in Virgina, and my dad is in Florida. So visits are few and far between. The boys have Grandma grandma, here, Pink Grandma, as Joey sometimes refers to her. And as plans have been made for my dad to come out, they have interfered with Pink Grandma's plans to take Joey and his cousin to a Special Place. She is not happy about that at all.
Last night, as I am thinking about this, being irritated, and down right mad, I thought to myself, she is the lucky one. There is no sharing, fighting, or squabbaling between the grandparents as to who get's the babies, this weekend, or the next. No fighting over holidays and birthdays. She can get him any time she wants, she can be at our door step in 20 minutes, any day of the week. 365 days a year, she has the opportunity to be with her grandbabies. Yes, I understand that this is the choice my family has made, to be in other states, but that makes them no less important than the ones who are right here. If anything, the visits they have are more special.
My dad and my mom, will not have the relationship my mother-in-law is blessed to have with my kids. She is truly lucky not to have to fight for affection, she is The Grandma to Joey. It's not Grandma Julie, it's Grandma. It's Grandma Sue, Grandpa Greg, Grandma Muffy. She is the one held is highest esteem by my son. She is the one in the position of honor. Unfortunately, I don't know if she see's that, and after yesterday, I am sure her feelings are hurt, and her plans are ruined, and it's another reason for me not to be her favorite person, so she definitley doesn't see her honored status.
So today, I'll swallow my pride, and call her, smooth the waters a bit, and try somehow to show to her how blessed she really is, and how she is the one who can see the boys 365 days a year, and for this brief 3 days, she needs to step aside, so my dad can have the opportunity to be Grandpa to his grandkids he misses the other 362 days a year.

It makes me think of my own selfish behaviors, and how I don't want to be that way, how I want to change myself. I have to make a phone call to her today, and set aside my irritation from the night before and be strong for my boys. As all of this is going thru my head, I get an email, one that I get everyday, called "Today's Word".....here's the prayer for today: God, I pray that You will help me focus on that one thing You want to me to accomplish today. Make me sensitive to the needs of the people You've placed in my life. In Jesus' name. Amen.
God is trying to tell me something.

Lunch with the Girls

I have gone to lunch this week twice with two different friends, and I had a dinner date last night with another. I have had conversations via email with another friend in big Kansas City, which I consider email lunch, I ate while I typed!
Something was striking about each wonderful person I was with this past week.....We are all coming into our own in some way, shape, or form. Strong, beautiful women, all of us on the cusp of something starting, ending, or remaking itself. Amazing how God works.
I realized how lucky I am to have the husband I have, as I see one of my dear friends moving away from her marriage. Staying strong for her kids and content with the decisions she has made. I value her strength and can't wait for lunch again and the funny stories she tells. And even though she is strong about it, I can see the loss in her eyes.
I realized how lucky I am to not be dating anymore, as I see two of my other dear friends finding themselves in the dating realm. One of whom is searching for something that she needs to look inward for, and one of whom has already found what she needs in herself and children. What an amazing blessing to be able to see women as they truly are when they are single!
I realized how blessed I am with family, even if they are not all genetically mine, as I see my dinner date struggle with her inner sorrows, and lack of true family support in her life. What a true blessing to be allowed in her life to be that family she needs.
Then I see myself, married, covered in kids, pets, and mess, and realize how strong women have to be. The struggles we go thru each day, and in the end we forget how to love ourselves. We pour out our energy and souls on the people in our lives, and put our needs on the back burner. What an incredible God-given quality. To be able to be the world for our kids, our men, our jobs, our friends, and family. We do it 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and sometimes never think twice about it.
I like to say to these women in my life, how I value each one of you in a different way, how I have grown, laughed, loved, cried, and struggled with all of you, and how I can't wait for each time we meet, to put aside life's details, and take care of each other.
Thank you for making me realize how strong I really truly am, and thank you for letting me tell you how amazing you all truly are.
And since it's Friday, I've decided, you are all allowed to go home, drink a beer, and not do the dishes!
Love you all,
Leslie

Fat Girl Memo: Free Food

What is it about free food that we can't turn it down?
Being in the office I am in, there is always someone giving the big dogs some kind of goodie, including lunches. What doesn't get eaten is always put out for a free-for-all!
Yesterday there were free box lunches and cookies. Even though I ate lunch, it was necessary for me to take a free lunch. Why? IT'S FREE. And usually brought in by one of the gourmet sandwich or deli shops around this area.
Yesterday morning I walked in and next to the coffee pots was chocolate chunk cookies. As I have established before, walking by chocolate and not eating any is a sin. So of course, I had three. Yesterday after noon, after the free box lunches, was another round of cookies. Macadamia nut cookies, which I of course took two, one for my boys and one for my spouse, and yes, I finished both.
Last week there was cake, brownies, and pizza. The week before that, ice cream cake, more brownies, and one time there was tamales. One morning I came in to find bagels and cream cheese. Carrot cake, banana cake, candy, chips, veggies with ranch, and donuts. One girl is taking a baking class and brought in mini-muffins and a frosted rainbow shaped cake.
HELLO PEOPLE, I am working on being healthy! Didn't everyone get the memo? Fat girls can't walk by this stuff and not take twice their share. Evil people. The counter today had Stephanie's Chocolates on there...yes, you read me right, Stephanie's Chocolates, I have eaten 4 different kinds, and I am sure to go back. Like I said, passing by chocolate is a sin. None of these daily counter items includes the candy bowl around the corner, that lady puts in candy every day, Snickers, Laffy Taffy, Tootsie Rolls, and more.
And what happened to my will power? I watched one lady walk by and not even bat an eye. That is impressive. I hate her. Of course, you think I could just copy her and walk on by, nope. I find myself slipping one malted milk ball in my mouth and grabbing two more, and that is when I walk by in a mad dash trying to avoid the tray of goodies. Heaven forbid I slow down, I may slide the whole tray down the isle to my desk.
I am tempted to ask if I can order a tread mill for my cubicle. Or maybe they'll spring for a Stairmaster or lipo suction. Isn't that workman's comp? Really, I did eat all of the above at work, supplied by the company, on company property. And the reason my chair keeps sliding down and why I have to squeeze by others in the hallway, is all due to free, company provided food.
Well, until I get my treadmill, I may have to work on my will power!

Stress & Tension? NOT ME

I had horrible headache that spread from Wednesday to Friday. I stayed home Friday in hopes it would fade away, and I had high expectations that I would get some things around the house accomplished. WELL...the headache went away, but the house is still in shambles. I didn't get anything accomplished, except buying cat food, laundry detergent, and new pillows.
I went to the doctor on Friday about this lovely headache, and she didn't see anything physically wrong with me, she doesn't' think it's migraines, she thinks it's tension and stress. Tension and stress? I don't have tension and stress in my life, what is she talking about? It's just my pillow that is making my shoulders and neck hurt, it's all the Tylenol I took that is making me sick to my stomach, and the panic attach I almost had a Wal-mart yesterday, is not related to tension and stress. This woman is crazy. I told her I didn't feel stressed. She kinda looked at me like, I had hit her on the head with a frying pan. Then she asked me a question that I couldn't answer. She asked me what I did to release stress and what do I do for myself??
For myself? She was speaking a foreign language. What do I do for myself? Do I spend time alone, to de-stress, and re-energize myself? Is she some kind of new age doctor? Doesn't she know I don't have time for me? I told you, this woman is crazy.
I sat there in silence for what seemed like forever, I couldn't think of anything good, or witty to say. And the truth was much more painful. I swallowed the lump in my throat, and tried really hard not to cry, I think she could tell what my answer was before I could manage to spit it out. Nothing.
I did start deep water aerobics on Fridays! Does that count? It's something for me!
She was impressed with that, but her answer was that I need to take a few minutes to myself each day, and she gave me a list of neck exercises to do, and told me to take a few deep breaths when I feel myself start to feel tense.
This woman is insane. I'm not stressed, I'm not full of tension. I am completely mellow, low key, and I go with the flow. My life is truly a peaceful way to live. Can't you feel the peaceful vibes coming off my aura? Apparently not. Apparently she could see thru my peace into the sheer terror my life really can be. I think she heard the whiny kids, saw the piles of laundry, the messy house, the empty fridge, and hungry mouths to feed. I think she saw the games I play at work and the struggle I have keeping my mouth shut, all thru my tear-filled eyes.
I really expected her to had me a card for a fabulous shrink she knows. Luckily she didn't, and I escaped with a prescription for a muscle relaxer, a smile, and a bit of advice. Whew! Dodged a bullet there...someone almost detected my insanity.
On to the next challenge.....finding time for myself!

Waiting for Change

Does it always seem like we are waiting for something? Waiting for things to change, waiting in line, waiting to make the right move, waiting for a sign, waiting for the washing machine, waiting at the stop light. Waiting.
We have to wait at lights, in line, for the dryer to stop. Those things we have to wait for....but why do we wait for a change to come to us, instead of making it happen?
We ask for help, please God, make a change in my life. Each night, I pray that God leads me in the right direction. That He send me a sign. I pray that He opens my eyes so that I may see the direction I need to go, and I think He sending me signs, but I'm just afraid I'm not looking in the right direction. Maybe my glasses aren't clean. Did I turn my head right when He sent me my sign? I hope not.
Wouldn't it be more effective to make the change we know we need to make? God helps those, who help themselves...doesn't He? Why wait for the miracle changing moment to come to us? We need to help it out, walk towards what we know is right. I sit around and complain about this, complain about that, do this, do that, why not this, why that, on and on. It's a cycle that needs to be broken. You have to make that change, you know what it is. We all have our own things we are waiting to happen, we need to take the big leap. Make the move, make the change, make the right choice, do what we know is right. It's always so hard to make that first move, no matter what it is, and it could change your life in a small way, but in an effective way. It could completely turn you around, back onto the path you belong on, or onto the path you should be on.
It's never easy is it? We get our strength from the difficulties in our life. Is it easier to wait, to sit, not make the move, wait for the right moment, for the right environment. It's not going to happen. It's never the right moment, things will never be perfect. John Lennon said in one of his songs, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."
I read somewhere, I believe in an email I once received that "I prayed for strength and God gave me difficulties to make me strong." Change is difficult, isn't it?

Tales from the Laundry Room

Laundry is something I despise. With four people in my house, it is an uphill battle just to barely maintain it. Usually, if I manage to get all the laundry done (HA HA HA) there is still 4 baskets full that need to be dispersed and put away. There is always something dirty on the floor in my laundry room. If I get the pleasure of saying all my laundry is done, it's a complete and utter farce, there is always a stray, dirty sock, or cat-hair covered blanket. A random pair of underwear or stray pair of jeans that didn't make it in the last load. To add insult to injury, the washing machine destroyed my washable pudgy girl swimsuit. It is now a really stretchy, see-thru version of a swim suit, which is not overly appealing on pudgy girls.

My laundry room today, looks a bit like a tornado went thru a discount clothing store, or salvation army. There are small, medium, and large piles, of all sorts of dirty items. Shorts, shirts, jeans, towels, sheets, blankets, more towels, jammies, socks, jackets, and more towels. Where do you begin? These piles I have are what is left over from what I did not accomplish this weekend. For fun, I counted how many loads of laundry I did this weekend, not including what I did yesterday, or the towels I had to rewash due to them being used for a water spill, I did no less than 8 loads of laundry. This does not include the one or two I squeezed in on Friday night. Is this possible? How can 4 people wear all the clothes in the house, and use all the towels, blankets, jackets, and sheets in less than 4 days. These piles cannot be mixed up with the ironing 4 feet away, so it's a delicate balance of chaos in my laundry room, I don't want to re-wash the stuff I have to iron. I am thinking I need to take a day off work, just to get the ironing out of the way, that would eliminate half the confusion.

I also noticed the two shirts Joey did not want to wear last week, in the dirty pile. The child threw them on the floor, then in the laundry basket, even after I told him to fold them back up and put them away. Nick has a runny nose, so there are at least 3 towels with runny nose mess on them, and a blanket or two. This is one load of laundry, or maybe two, just in mishaps. This doesn't include the clean towels that John grabbed to clean up the water spill, which he promptly put back in the basket he took them from, not knowing this basket was full of clean items I had pulled from the dryer a few hours before.

So I wonder, what kind of laundry do single people have? Or even worse, what happens if you have 6 people in your household? I keep wondering if I should invest in the mega-washer and dryers they have at laundry mats, or maybe I need two washers and two dryers!
But, I am guessing no matter the size of my machines, the laundry will still pile up, and I will still be mad that I have to do it, and I'll still be agitated that it all has to be put away. None of it's very fun, and when John's wins the lotto, I am hiring someone to tackle it for me.

Freedom to Fascism?

this one is going to be tough to swallow, and you may think I have lost my mind, but on the contrary, I have found it.
John and I went to a movie this weekend, without kids. Grandma took Joey and Nick, and John and I caught a 2:30p movie. It was a documentary called America: From Freedom to Fascism. It was a completely amazing movie, and both of us felt like we had been kicked in the teeth by the time we left. It brought out so many emotions, fear, anger, bewilderment, hate, and even sorrow.
The premise was about if it is legal for the government to collect federal income tax. According to the documentary and the sources on the film, there is no law that requires American's to pay federal income tax. Aaron Russo, the director, interviewed sources, went thru books, letters, tax code, everything, but never found any law, in the constitution, or elsewhere that proves the legality of the federal income tax. To add to that, he even sited a court case from 1918 that the supreme court said that the government cannot tax our labor, and there were many others like this.
How can you not be shocked by this? The government takes about 22-24% of my money each pay check, and it's illegal? No way! Even worse, he went on to state that federal income tax doesn't even pay for government services that we expect it to pay for, like school, highway repair, and so on. Our tax money goes to pay the interest the government owes on the money it gets from the Federal Reserve. Our government doesn't control our money. Gold and silver no longer back our money. The dollar in your pocket is worth, in reality, about 4 cents. The Federal Reserve decides how much money they put in circulation, and they are holding us and our government hostage. It's sick, crazy, and amazingly enough, true.
He went on to continue to talk about the Federal Reserve, which is a private bank, and NOT under any control of the government. He also talks about a global bank system, and one world government.
I walked out of the theatre feeling violated. All the American values that we as American's know, and grow up to appreciate and brag about, are turning into lies. I felt a bitter taste in my mouth, my stomach was turning, all I could think was this is not what the founding fathers had in mind. We are supposed to be the land of the free. Where democracy, and freedom reign, where the government is the servant to the people. What have we turned into? Every where you look the government and the media are praying on our fears. The fear of terrorism, school shootings, bombings, immigration. Praying on our fears, for their benefit. Now they want us all to have a National ID card, that will track you and every move you make. You won't be able to buy anything, sell anything, do anything, without it. All in the name of freedom? Doesn't sound like freedom to me, sounds to me like governmental terrorism. Isn't' that what we're supposed to be fighting against, terrorism?
I felt as if I had been shaken awake Saturday afternoon. I suddenly felt aware, awake, and ready to read each word of the constitution, to stand up for myself and my family. The buildings, people, and objects around me were brighter, and in focus. I realized what was in my little world was about to change, and the wheels have been in motion for sometime, and I felt powerless to stop it. My question now, is now what? How can I make it better, if not for me, for my boys??
I highly recommend that you go and see this documentary. It is only out in select cities right now, and hopefully it will get the funding to go nationally, but for some reason, I see big brother putting a stop to that. Below is the website, if you are interested, take a look, there are also movie trailers you can view.
And I recommend you do the research, check it out for yourself, don't believe everything you are told.

www.freedomtofascism.com

Pudgy Girl Swim Suit

I broke down and ordered a new swim suit. Yes, I did it. Now this means, since I ordered a new pudgy girl swimsuit, and paid to have it shipped to me, I have to wear it somewhere other than my bedroom.
The all black, simple, swimsuit arrived last week. I pulled it out of the shipping bag it was in and took a deep breath. Was I really going to do this? Was I really going to squeeze into this suit, hold my breath for however long I was wearing it, and try to swim in it? Yeah, why not? What have I got to lose?
So Saturday morning, I found my self tugging at the swim suit, pulling it up, sucking in, squeezing in, holding my breath, making sure all the areas that needed to be covered were. Of course, I should have worn full clothing if I wanted everything covered, but for the most part, what was a necessity to cover, was covered. I avoided the mirror, so I am not 100% sure what I looked like in it, but I imagined a cabbage patch kid in a swim suit, or humpty dumpty, take your pick.
I grab two towels, better safe than sorry, nothing worse than grabbing a towel, having it be too small, and trying to wrap the thing around your body, and instead looking like some kind of horrible flasher. I hopped into the soccer mom mini-van and headed for the local pool. I pretended I had been there 1000 times before to lap swim, I walked in like I was confidant, and ready to go! This was merely a cover for my true horror, which I am sure was flashing like a strobe light when I left.
I was extremely quick at getting my short and t-shirt off, and with lightening speed, I hurried to the pool and down the latter, into the saving grace of the rippling water. As I am bouncing in the water, I think to myself, hey, you did it! The hard part is over. Boy, was I wrong.
I began to swim, kicking away, realizing I was barely moving. Back in the day, I was a great swimmer, on swim team every summer for as long as I could remember. I was good too! I am sure I have a million ribbons somewhere to prove it! Of course, I was younger, healthier, thinner, and much more used to swimming laps than I am today!
The pool area had about 20 parents, all of whom were there with their young kids for swim lessons. Thankfully, there were only two other lap swimmers there, both of whom were not as experienced as I was, and moved slower than me, not sure how that is possible, but it is. As I am swimming my laps, I get to the end of the pool, after 2 laps, and I am praying to God for mercy and I am trying not to look like I just got hit by a cement truck. I continued on, be brave, you can do it! Needless to say, I think I managed to torture myself for just about 30 minutes, and I may be exaggerating that.
As my brain in pounding, my ear is plugged, my lungs are burning, and my eyes are blurry, I drag myself from the pool. And when I say drag, I mean drag. It took me two lunges to pull myself from the water. My entire body is shaking, my face is on fire, and I am trying not to attract attention, because I don't want them to call 911 to the pool because the fat girl is in distress.
I don't bother with my clothes, I manage to get the towels around me, I stagger to the door, trying to smile at the life guard, who I think was trying not to laugh at me, but I can't be sure, my brain was totally blurry. I am not sure how I made it home without driving off the road.
I walked in the door, in tears. My arms hurt so bad, I could not lift them, I had given my self a headache from lack of oxygen, my ear was complete full of water and my nose was runny. My spouse, being supportive, says great job, you shouldn't have pushed yourself so hard. I don't recall pushing myself that hard, I gave up like 20 minutes in! But I decided, I'll go again, and again, until it gets easier. It may take a year, but I will do 4 laps, without stopping to pass out!
I've been trying to remember whose idea it was to get a new swim suit. And when I remember, I'm going to smack them.

How Was Your Weekend??

Each Monday, everyone asks how your weekend was. It's tempting to tell the truth, but we don't. My weekend was good, my weekend was great, didn't do much, my weekend was fine, and yours?
We live an uneventful life apparently. I am overhearing everyone talk about their weekends. One lady went to Estes Park, another spent the weekend boating with her family, another person was wine tasting, and one guy was mountain climbing. Those are the stories I overheard in my little cubbie, and I am still pondering what everyone else did and why I am surely the only one who ran errands, did laundry, and nit picked at my spouse all weekend. I imagine what I would like to say...
I was shopping in Aspen. I was eating pastries in France. I was river rafting. I went fine dining. I was in Vegas. I was horseback riding in the Norwegian wilderness. I was in Scotland with Sean Connery.
But then reality sets in. I realize the closest I am going to get to visiting Sean Connery in a Scottish castle is watching the Hunt for Red October, under the covers of my King sized bed. Shopping in Aspen is not an option, I won't pay $500 for a T-shirt. Fine dining with two kids? NO WAY. So nothing fancy, is usually what happens.
I wonder if I am not living my life right. Am I wasting time by not doing something grand each week? Am I missing out? I don't know. I'd like to be more adventurous and on the go. John would prefer to stay home and be a home-body. We are different in that respect. I am happy with a Sunday drive, but Sunday is football!!
There is that thought in the back of my mind, eating away at me, that maybe I need to get out more. Family picnics in the mountains, or trips to the museum. Maybe a weekend adventure to a nearby park or miniature golf course. It's quite obvious I won't be able to compete with some of the stories around here. Some of these people have too much time and money on their hands, and no kids. And I probably wouldn't really tell them what I did, but it would be nice to do more than what we normally do. I think the laundry can wait a day, the vacuum will be there tomorrow, the beds can me made later, and the slew of other must-do's will always be there.
Life is too short to just let it pass by without taking the time to enjoy the ones you love. I think this next weekend we'll plan something fun, free, and mind-expanding for the boys. And when I come in to work on Monday, and the one-upper's around here ask what I did, I'll say..."Not much, same old thing."
They will never have what I have, and maybe I'll just keep that to myself.